Hey! After a long time, my wordpress blog is finally read to be used! Most probably i won't come back here again, but who knows, maybe i'll get a sense of detachment when i first use wordpress and therefore will come back a few times! It's been nice having you, my bloggie. I first created you in Feb 2009, and now i'm leaving you after exactly 2 years. Bye bye :'(

Btw, my new address is www.yiming1602.wordpress.com

Hope to see ya around and happy Chinese New Year guys!

HAHA OK i never really got to finish my previous post after my dinner. So i'll just make a quick one now.

The celebration wasn't that bad! Jingwen and i found the rabbit and tortoise joke very funny! We laughed our asses off! Apparently the rest found it very lame. NO WAY MANN! IT WAS SO CUTE! DX We were just watching the teachers getting up on stage to sing us a song when we spotted the cai shen ye. I immediately went, "SHIT JINGWEN LET'S GOO!!" HAHAHAHAHA! We were both like, "SHIT SHIT SHIT WHERE TO GET THE BAGS OMG HOW COME EVERYONE'S READY WOW SO MANY PEOPLE OUTSIDE THE HALL WALAO EXCUSE ME GAHHHHHHHHH SHIT!!!! OH NO THE PRINCIPALS' ON STAGE?! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT"

XDD

Ok it wasn't as gay as we imagined, quite fun actually! After giving Mrs Hoo and Mrs Tan the bags, we took some more and went up to the gallery to give to the teachers. Guess what, we couldn't differentiate the teachers from the students because most were wearing their home clothes! I missed out a teacher as well, luckily jingwen spotted her! Lol!

Then after school, i went to karaoke with my batch! It was going to be my first time, so i was damn excited! It turned out to be really as awesome as i expected! I was totally jumping up and down and losing myself in the music. I couldn't hear a thing that i was singing (or should i say screaming)! Everyone was so hyped up! By the end of everything, i came out of the room and i could only describe everything i heard as "soft whispers"... Nothing could beat the noise inside that room, seriously! XD

And that was how i spent the day! Pretty awesome and very fun!

HELLO HELLO HELLO! TODAY IS INDEED A VERY HAPPY DAY FOR ME! XDD

Rgs is freakin' good because it set tomorrow (Wed) as a holiday, which means, today was sort of a half day! SWEET! Haha ok i shall start by telling you what happened yesterday. Hong Laoshi asked during Chinese if anyone was free after school, to help out in packing the oranges. Since i was staying back to wait for my CCA bus and i had quite a bit of time before i was due at 2.30, i volunteered together with INung. HAHA then i gave Jingwen the "puppy face" and mouthed the words "YOU WANT?" to her, she replied that she had to ask her mum cos she wasn't supposed to stay back longer after lunch. I was secretly hoping that she could stay back and guess what, her mum allowed her!

We went there at 1.30, after a long chat with Cass, June, Shi Bee and they all about relationships and random stuff like that haha. When we went to the tables outside Anderson to find Hong Laoshi but NO ONE WAS THERE. I started freaking myself out, and that's when i saw the others carrying oranges and all that. I was like, "Phew thank goodness!" Hong Laoshi came after that and showed us where the oranges and the chocolates are. We went in and each took a few boxes. I took 4 boxes of chocolates and Jingwen took 2 big boxes of oranges. She helped me hold the door open while i handled with all the stuff. We went out and NO ONE WAS THERE AGAIN! We put our stuffs down on the table and waited, and waited and waited. Still, no one came. It was so bizarre cos we were just behind them, so how could we have lost them? I went in first to check if they were still inside. In the staffroom, EVERY ROOM LOOKED THE SAME! So i pushed a door which looked like the one i saw previously, AND GUESS WHAT, MS CARMEN HOO, MRS ANIS AND SOME OTHER TEACHERS WERE HAVING A MEETING, APPARENTLY I WENT TO THE WRONG ROOM! AIYO!!!! It was super embarrassing cos they were all staring at me! x__x I quickly said "good afternoon" then scrammed. I walked all around the staffroom but didn't find them. So then Jingwen went in, FOR A LONGGGG TIME. I just sat there and i felt so awkward there! Haha i bet i looked like some hawker sitting there, trying to sell oranges and chocolates. Ok these aren't making sense... WHATEVER LAH, i just felt awkward, and everyone who walked pass me just HAD to stare at me -.-

When Jingwen came out, she was laughing hysterically and mumbling all the words with her laughter. "HAHAHAHAHA YIMING AHA WE WENT TO THE AHAHAHAH WRONG WAY YOU KNOW AHAHAHAHAH MS HOO THEN AHAHAHAH I DON'T KNOW HA THEY WERE ALL STARING THEN HAHAHAHAH" Trust me, i totally didn't get her even after 3 rounds of explanations -.- After all the stupid funny stuff, jingwen led the way into the staffroom and we actually exited through another door! AMAZING. Hong Laoshi actually thought they lost the 4 boxes of chocolates, hahaha wth!

The packing oranges part was so cool! I felt very mechanical but it was so good; it was the first few times that i did something without the use of my brain. AHHH SHIOK. All we needed to do was just to take 2 oranges and 2 chocolates, and put them into a small bag.

INung: 哇，这个纸带还是3D的嘞！洪老师，会不会很贵？
Me: 哎呀，又不是洪老师出钱！>D

After everything, Hong Laoshi dropped us a bomb. “明天你们就一人拿着一个，祎茗你拿给Mrs Hoo，敬雯你拿给Mrs Tan.” Now that's not bad enough, wait for it.....

“所以你们明天看到财神爷后，就跟在他后面走，然后把那袋桔子和巧克力给校长。” DANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!! SO GAY! CAN YOU IMAGINE? WALKING BEHIND THE CAI SHEN YE! HAHAHAHAHAHA JINGWEN AND I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING ABOUT IT!

WHOA i've written a lot about yesterday! I should stop here first, ttyl!

I suddenly miss OBS so bad. I don't know why! OBS was incredible; it made me grow up and realise so much about myself. I realised that i actually do not have much confidence in myself. Well ok in areas such as dance or you know, presenting stuff or talking to people, i have absolutely no problem. However, when it comes to making true friends or hanging out with friends, i become such a bloody coward. I'm constantly so paranoid that i'm not cool enough to be some people's friends. I keep telling myself that i'm not good enough; i'm not hip, i'm not funny, i'm not unique, i don't have the X-factor or don't know what you call that. You always find me admiring other people, "whoever whoever is SO COOL!" or "EH I THINK SHE'S DAMN CUTE LEH!", i never find anything attractive in myself. I find that i'm just so shallow and boring, no one wants to be my friend :( The more i think about it, the more i won't talk to people, the more depressed i feel. I have such a conflicted personality. Usually you see as the bright and outspoken girl who's always so on about stuff, but inside me, i have this deep sense of insecurity which has been bothering me ever since. I often wish i could just step out of my body and look at myself through another person's eyes. I need to know how my character is, i need to know how "fun" i am, i need to know how fat i look, and things like that. I can never trust anyone; i never trust mouths of others, nor the mirrors. To me, they all lie because they have some intentions, either to make me feel better/worse. Because i don't know how i am, i keep believing that i'm the lousiest. Whatever people say, i just know that i suck, in many areas. This is really depressing. It's as if i constantly need someone to remind me that i'm just fine.

EH HOW DID I COME TO TALK ABOUT THIS AH?! Oh OBS. Yes. In fact, until now, i still have some difficulties in talking to people in my class. I get so freaked out because i keep telling myself that they're way cooler than me and they won't want to talk to me. I NEED TO STOP THIS SERIOUSLY!

Ok i have nothing much to say anymore. Haiya i shouldn't have blogged all these. These thoughts are quite personal and hurtful to talk about. Tonight is gonna be emo, and this emoness is accompanied by the rain! Haiya!

NEXT TIME I SHALL BLOG ABOUT HAPPY STUFF! K good night then!

School's been getting better, finally :) I don't have much time these days to update the blog, so :( I gotta run now, i need to finish all my homework by today, especially French, if not i won't have time later on.

Bye bye!

I hope this won't continue. Really. I hate having the thought in my mind because it seriously kills. SCHOOL SUCKS FOR THE FIRST TIME I DON'T KNOW WHY. I'm just so f*cking stressed cos of all these assignments and commitments. Others may not have as much things to do but damn it i'm not good with time management and i'm a freakin' slow worker, so time isn't enough for me at all AND I HAVE SO MUCH LEFT TO DO.

Plus, people in the class (some) are making me feel so out of place. I think it's only myself cos i think too much.

Once more, school sucks like i've never noticed before. I have a bad feeling towards completing year 3.

I just came back from training and guess what, I SERIOUSLY DIED. The first training after our 23 December break was last Thursday, and i completely died. I cried when shen laoshi stepped on me damn it it felt like hell! Ah and it was so embarrassing cos i really didn't expect it. I tried holding back the tears but my legs were just so pain that they burnt! Gosh that was the most embarrassing moment i can remember. Then last Saturday was quite bad also cos Zuo laoshi (our new coach!) stepped on my right leg. Cos my legs still had not recovered from Thursday's ya-ing, my right leg was completely stiff. AHHH AND SOME MORE SHE HELD FOR A LONG TIME! I felt my tears coming out but i managed to control it. HENG AH! Ok then after that i went for OBS. Great. Today, die again lah! My everything was so screwed up i felt like killing myself. Ok maybe not my back. My back is slowly improving. Still, it's not as good as how i was before concert :(

Hmmm OBS has ended! I can't believe how 5 days just flew past like that :O It somehow felt like CAP! Both were 5 days, both were from Mon-Fri, i used the same bag, i cried on the last day. YES I CAN'T BELIEVE I ACTUALLY CRIED ON FRIDAY WALAO THIS IS THE SECOND EMBARRASSING MOMENT! Luckily Jingyi and i cried together, if i was the only one, my face will be burnt like crap.

The truth is, i didn't really enjoy the 5 days thoroughly. I felt that i had gone with the wrong group of people. I tried to enjoy all the activities while they lasted but people just kept whining and complaining about things. I mean, how you wanna spend your 5 days is really up to you. Either you smile through it and make yourself feel good, or you sulk and make your life difficult for yourself.

Haha but ok after all, i did love OBS a lot! I shan't use the word fun because it wasn't fun. It's a damn wrong word to describe OBS. OBS was tough and challenging like shit. If you don't feel uncomfortable during OBS, then buddy you've gone to the wrong camp. I really couldn't stand some things which they made us do, such as trekking almost 9km for 7-8hours with a bag as heavy as 10kg (perhaps), but i just told myself to keep on going and stop complaining, cos anyway there wasn't any other options for us. In the end, it all felt so good. Oh no memories are slowly slipping away, i can't remember much about OBS already :( This is the bad thing about not blogging on the day itself.

I shall wrap up now because i still have to shower and rest for a while before going for tuition. Crap lah i have so much work to do! School only lasted 3 days for us so far and i have homework for EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT excluding lit and including French and tuition! DAMN.

Maybe it still hasn't sunk in that i'm already sec 3 and those i love are no longer around. What am i gonna do? I have this hunch that people are not accepting me, like i'm too uncool for them. I need to stop being so imaginative. Or maybe it's all true. Who knows, it feels so unreal.