Yesterday was one of the greatest days so far. You know the words "hanging out" and "laughing" are so distant from me now, yet we managed to do that, and yes we looked like retards ;)

I really loved the part when we sat down on the rock and the national flag flew past! I NEVER KNEW THAT THE FLAG WAS SO HUGE! GOSH! IT WAS SO STUNNING AND EVERYONE WAS TRYING TO GET A PICTURE OF IT (though we kinda failed in a really pathetic way)! Gosh i'm feeling so emotional that i don't even know how to phrase my words.

I guess i'd rather not have them laid on this blog as words cos, as what i've said about CAP, words are cheaper than memories.

On a side note, OG OUTING IS TODAY AND I'M REALLY MISSING THEM! X: Well i guess i have homework to accompany me. OH YEAH mentorship results are coming out! TODAY. Hmmm i guess i'll be pretty depressed if i i don't get in since i spent so much time and love on it, but maybe this is a good thing too, saves more time for me. Mum has agreed to let me take dance (WALAO I CAN SCREAM NOW!!!! XD) after the EYAs, under the condition that i can manage my studies, CCA AND dance. SO I WILL PROVE TO THEM THAT YES, THIS IS WHAT I WANT AND I WILL WORK EXTRA HARD TO GET IT. NO MATTER WHAT.


Sometimes i think about my ambitions and feel so disgusted, i wanna slap myself. The world doesn't just revolve around me. What about my parents? If i can't even support myself, how can i support them? THEN WHAT KIND OF A DAUGHTER AM I? DAMN IT! Yes that is my dream, but will i sacrifice my family just for MY OWN dream? I admit that i'm not close to my family at all. I mean, it's a nuclear family, 3 of us, and i don't even feel the bond. I'm pretty sure my parents are aware of this as well. Though i've rebelled, though i've done things which have cut them deep, i'm not letting myself be someone who doesn't give back. I know this will kill me so much but i'm very sure it's worth it, family over anything else in the world. They are the ones who gave me my life and i have no rights to ruin theirs.


So, i'll give up my dream for them.

Anyway i can have several dreams, so even if my second choice isn't something which i LOVE to the core, i'll still enjoy it right?