HOLY! I didn't even know the existence of the 'RA folder' on INet! There's got all the info! I'm starting to feel paranoid for some unknown reason.

I skipped French today! Well i was supposed to have lessons on Fridays but since the sec ones are gonna start their orals this Friday, MOELC cancelled the lesson. Now i was supposed to go today but i've decided to do more important things first, such as math and hist FA, so i went home instead. IT WAS NOT A BAD DECISION AFTER ALL! :DD

Ok i just can't resist the urge to talk about this anymore. I am a thinker. I think about really random things like why i always walk on people's right. Ok fine not all the time, i do think about deeper things such as family conflicts and such. It's just my habit i guess! Since young, i've always been planning my next step, planning my next line, using my brain a lot. (That's one of the reasons i don't like golf. I gotta rest my brain for a while, i don't wanna use it on some sports!) So sometimes i really wanna discuss certain things with people but most of the time, i hold them back. Either because i can't find a suitable person to talk to, or they don't want to talk to me about such deep (and to them, boring) things.

What i really would like to hear is the objective comments about a certain subject matter, or fine, maybe subjective (i don't know cos it's been long since i last talked to someone about these types of things before). Something i REALLY don't wanna hear is, MORAL JUDGEMENTS! Like, before i could even finish what i want to say, you come straight to the point that oh this person shouldn't do this because it's wrong, we should blah blah blah. C'mon it's not what we SHOULD/SHOULD NOT do it, it's all about WHY we do it! I really hope someday, i can find someone who can understand my sudden randomness and sort of play along. That's why i love people who think deeply, but OK LAH NOT DEEP UNTIL THEY DON'T TALK THAT TYPE! If i make a decision, i'd rather choose the one who thinks deeply compared to the one who always believes what he/she sees and does not think further. I mean sometimes it can be fun being around them but, UGH it just frustrates me somehow! I tend to use the word "shallow" a lot, because REALLY I THINK SHALLOW PEOPLE ARE SO ANNOYING! D<

OH! Back to the topic. I was just listening to some of Avril Lavigne's songs and there was one which caught my attention, it's called "i can do better". It's all about girls being rebellious after their breakup, about how they hate their boyfriend and whatsoever. The lines go like:

I hate you now
So go away from me
You're gone
So long
I can do better i can do better

It just got me so interested. Ok, wrong use of word, it got me very confused. I linked this song to other songs like "so what" by P!nk and tons of other songs which i SUDDENLY can't remember now!

Don't you feel hurt and confused when you listen to these types of songs? I mean, if you REALLY hate that person so much, why did you even date him in the beginning? If you really dated him and loved him, how could you bare to suddenly turn yourself into this hatred beast? Isn't the pain still there? If it isn't, then where did all your love go? If there wasn't even love in the first place, why did you even bother to date him?

I can go on and on, one question linking to another. Do you get my point? I'm just confused about how these girls think! I wouldn't know how i would react if i ever breakup with my boyfriend. Probably i'd be super numb at first, then i'll cry for DAYS, then i'll try to make the pain fade. I'm quite sure i won't go around screaming "I HATE YOU! YOU WERE A WASTE OF MY TIME GET OUT OF MY FACE." You know? Yeah so, i'm neither disgusted nor impressed that these girls (or many other girls out there) who have this kinda behaviour! WHY WHY WHY?! How could you bare to turn such sweet love to such poisonous hatred? Won't you feel, conflicted?

This is so interesting yet confusing. I really like to think about human relation stuff and things like that. I THINK IT'S SO COOL.

Haha whoa this post is LONGGGGG. I shall end off here! GO FOR GYM CONCERT AND BYE BYE!